“Yeah, Akari’s told that story plenty of times, but she always manages to get a squeal. Back in junior high she had one girl checking under her bed for weeks.” Kikyo said with an easy laugh as Akari apologized for giving them all such a fright. It was all in good fun anyway, so what was a little bit of embarrassment and spilled soda? Well, unless it stained. Would it stain? There had to be a way to clean soda out of stuff, right? There was magic in the world so clearly soda should be nothing! Kikyo looked up when Kaya addressed her.
“Of course! I can pull it off onto a thumb drive or just email it, whatever works.” Kikyo said, beaming as Kaya asked her about getting a copy of the picture. She placed her camera back down on her lap as she leaned back into her seat, though her posture made it clear that she was prepared to snap another pic at a moment’s notice.
“Oh, another story? I always love a good ghost story.” Kikyo said. If it was on campus then maybe it would be somewhere she could get some cool photos too. That would be cool.
//... into the dark she stepped, but never did she feel free of the gaze...//
Try as she might to accept the humor of the situation, her laugh just wouldn’t come out right as she was bobbled around by Miko’s bumps as she moved. At least there was some assurance that it had all been a story, and Akari’s apology did manage to draw a genuine smile to her lips.
“It’s o..okay Akari…I’m just not good with the scary stuff.” Mae said softly.
Didn’t I already say that?
Surprisingly, she did continue on a brief moment, something about “My Aunt Sarah….” And “spirits are real and all around us….” And something about “good and evil…..” , but she was so soft spoken that her words seemed to get lost in the mix, unlikely that anyone even noticed. Of course that was nothing new. Mae had always seemed to be just a face in the background, whether it was because of her social anxiety and awkwardness or just that she wasn’t interesting, it really didn’t matter…right?
She continued to listen to the others as they shared their reasons for enrollment in Jade Seal, all different and yet still the same……nothing -special-. Of course it was no different in her case, and as it seems she had gone unnoticed, she didn’t intend to elect herself to share in her own reasons. Besides what would she say? Doctors orders? Hardly. She didn’t need nor want anyones pity.
It seemed story time wasn’t over yet, apparently Kaya had some more nightmare fuel to add. Mae squirmed uncomfortable next to Miko in anticipation. What she wouldn’t give to be home in her room, buried beneath the secure covers of her warm bed. Still, a part of her wanted to stay though she wasn’t sure why.
Just great, now I’ll probably be checking under my own bed for a week… such a pain… Well, at least the lights are still on. They are going to leave the lights on this time aren’t they? Gods! I have to make sure the lights stay on!
It seemed like Kaya was up again for another story, and she took a moment to organize her thoughts, trying to remember everything in the story. It was only good if it was told right, after all. She patted Mae's arm in what she hoped was a comforting way, not minding if the lights were on. This wasn't really that sort of ghost story, after all.
Maybe it wasn't a ghost story at all. She took a deep breath, and launched in.
"The Academy has been here for a long time, but even before it was here, there were magical girls, and before that...
There was old magic, back then. Not what we see today, with magical girls and transformations. It was a time when glamour meant something different, and few ever came close enough to find out. There was no school in these woods, not then - only the forest, deep and wide, and it seemed to go on forever. If the wind was still, though, and you listened very quietly, you could still hear the crash of the waves on the cliffs, far and away through the woods to the seashore.
If you've been out that way, you know no one goes there. It isn't a beach, not like we think of, with waves and sun and sand. It's rocks and high cliffs and the only sun is winter cold, and the water chill and cold. It's a place for wild things - seals and fish and mussels, not for people. Even the forest was wild back then - not full of strange beasts, but overgrown with ivy, easy to lose your way.
Sometimes, though, that just means it's easier to find a different path.
This story starts like so many of them, with once upon a time.
Once upon a time, there was a girl, not so different from we are today, and she found her way in to this very forest. Maybe she was looking for something, or maybe she was running away from something. Maybe she was running away from herself - or maybe she was looking for the self she knew she was meant to be. She wasn't a magical girl, not at all. She was just a girl in the woods, alone, until quite suddenly she was not alone at all.
There was a woman with her - not old, not young, or maybe both at the same time, beautiful as the winter sea. The girl stopped, and for a while, they watched each other in silence.
'Are you a fairy godmother?' The girl asked, for it seemed she must be something like that, and yet she was nothing at all like the magical girls they all knew of. Even so, the magic emanated from her, so strong it seemed to wrap her up like a cloak, thick enough that she would never be cold.
The woman before her offered a smile, and a simple 'You may call me that if you like.'
'Can you help me?' For the girl was a long way from home, and perhaps she did not know her way back, or perhaps she did not wish to find it.
'I could. But it will not be easy. And it will not be free. Magic never is, though many of your kind have yet to realize the cost. You will understand it, though, and perhaps in time you will teach others.'
The girl did not know what to make of those words, but she would remember them always. For a time they spoke more, about what was wanted and what was to be offered, what could be hoped for, what could be gained. The girl knew of the transformations of the magical girls, and sought something like that - a magic of her own.
So it was that, in time, the woman beckoned her close, and placed a finger upon her forehead. Her skin split from there, tearing itself to ribbons that twisted away into the wild magic. When it was over and done, though, the girl was no longer there at all, but a silver seal. The woman took her beyond the forest's edge, to the sharp cliffs - and there among the rocks and the jade-green sea she found kinship and the glory of her own transformation.
She did not know how long such a thing lasted, but in time she wished to be a girl again, and the woman was there, having watched.
'You may change any time you like,' she told the girl, 'Simply split your skin once more, and the girl is within you - and the seal within that, over and over, unto the end of time. Do not flinch at the cost of it, child. The pain is a lesson, of things that were never meant to be. But it is right, for you only hurt yourself. Ask yourself, when you tear yourself apart over and over again... who are the rest of them hurting, child?
“Oh, me too! I want the pictures, too.” Miko pipes up quickly, bouncing a little in her seat. She can’t help it, hopelessly entranced by the idea of having nice pictures to look at and maybe print or even hang up on her wall.
She can already picture the pictures hanging merrily in whatever dorms they have here, laid out in a neat line across a white plaster wall. Or maybe clipped to a string of lights! That would be super cute!
Her internal musings cause her to miss Mae’s mutterings entirely, which she would feel bad about if she noticed. In fact, she’s so caught up in her imaginings that she almost misses the start of Kaya’s story. The serious tone of the storyteller draws her attention quickly enough, and she settles in to listen.
Miko gasps at the twists and turns of the tale, fingers clutching tightly at the hem of her skirt as the girl’s powers are explained. This isn’t at all like the fun stories of magic, with all the glitz and glamor that she’s used to, but the undercurrent of something different is the same. Part of her is intrigued by it, but the more vocal part is just confused.
“But that’s awful! How is that supposed to help her? She didn’t even get to go home or anything.” She’s on the edge of pouting, her cheeks puffed out and her brow furrowed. “Why does magic have to have a cost? Can’t it just be fun and pretty?”
If she were the fairy godmother, she would have thought of something much more helpful, she reasons. With a less awful price, that kept everyone’s skin intact and whole.
"Er, yeah. Sorry," Akari said in reply to Mae, for the first time that the other girls saw looking a little bit phased - if only slightly bashful. She quickly covered it up with an award-winning kuu-guy grin, leaning back and folding her arms as Kaya broke into another story. She could get used to this. It was - honestly kinda nice. Something about being away from home, maybe, having other people like her to hang out with. Brushing the thought away, she took another sip of her liquid diabetes and waited for the story to end.
Once Kaya had wrapped it up, Miko interjected, and Akari couldn't help but frown.
"I mean, yeah, you don't have to tear yourself apart to use it. Least, I don't think. But isn't having it kinda a cost, too?"
She crumpled her empty can and tossed it to the bin, bouncing it off the wall and through the rim.
"Cause like - everyone expects you to be a hero, right? And if that's not what you want - well - then you're kinda just being selfish, and everyone's pissed. Back against the wall, yeah?" She shrugged. "Least, that's how I see it. Fact there's no choice in the matter is kinda fucked. Some people wanna help, and can't. Some people can help, but don't wanna."
Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there! He wasn't there again today, Oh how I wish he'd go away!
“I can make copies for anyone who wants some!” Kikyo said with a pleased smile as Miko also asked for some pictures for herself as well. It was nice, and she hoped they wouldn’t be disappointed when they saw them. Stray doubts were soon forgotten however once Kaya began her last ghost story. The mood lighting might have been gone (to save for another soda themed disaster) but the story was great all the same. Kaya had a real talent for making her own atmosphere didn’t she? It wasn’t a scary story in the ways the others were, more the sort that made goosebumps prickle their way up your arms and down your back as you leaned forward in anticipation of something. Which made for quite a cool little picture didn’t it?
Soon enough the story had drawn to a close and the others soon began chatting about it. Kikyo however found herself captivated by the arc of a crushed soda can. There was a trash can there too. Had that always been there? She didn’t really remember seeing it earlier but if Akari was tossing things at it then maybe it was? It was in the picture too, with the can hanging in the air just above it so maybe. Kikyo shook her head.
“Can’t really choose it either, can you? I mean in the story the girl didn’t really choose her magic either, she got it while looking for something else. It’s just something you have and then people expect you to save the world.” Kikyo added. Was that a weird thing to add? “It’s a lot of pressure really isn’t it?”
//... into the dark she stepped, but never did she feel free of the gaze...//
Riet's eyes were locked on the wall, but all of her attention was locked on Kaya, from the moment the story about the seal-girl began to the second the last word left her lips. This wasn't a story she'd heard before, and she'd spent a lot of time looking. She'd said it was old; maybe it was part of what this place had going on? Still, something about what the others were talking about--the price, and whether it was fair or unfair--nettled her. She started talking before she'd had a chance to stop and think about it.
"I think it's fair that it has a price, even if it is one you don't get a choice in."
She hesitated, reconsidering--but, well, she'd already started. Might as well keep going.
"Something nice you're born with, the price is everything else you're born with--the need to eat and drink, having to worry about not getting stabbed or whatever, stuff like that. Some people get less than others for the cost, and some people have to pay a harsher cost, but that's just how it is right now." She'd thought up the phrase 'existing is a seller's market' in her room one night thinking about this stuff, but just thinking about saying it out loud to this group turned her face an uncomfortable shade of red. Best to skip that, maybe; this was embarrassing enough as it was.
"If you want more after that, you have to pay more, and if you're the one who goes looking, sometimes that cost is going to be even more unfair than that--and if you want it badly enough, they don't have to tell you what the cost is until it's too late. That's why the devil or the faerie or whoever usually isn't the good guy in those stories. It doesn't have to be 'lose your soul' bad, but you need to be willing to..." She'd been about to say 'split your skin,' like the story, but wouldn't that sort of undercut the point about your soul? "... give some parts of yourself up if you want to become something else. And then you can use that to make things better, maybe, or break things, but you're going to have to..." she gestured, helplessly. "... to go there, first." She let herself slide the rest of the way to the floor. Oh well.
“The only thing that ever stopped me being exactly who I wanted,” she said, “was the worry that I would soon be dead … and now I am dead, and I am sick of roses, and I am horny for revenge.” -Harrow the Ninth, by Tamsyn Muir
She flashed a grateful smile to Akari for leaving the lights on, hoping Kaya’s next story would be far less….exciting. Mae still shuddered at the thought of the eyeless girl, or perhaps it was jiggling about of Miko beside her on the sofa that shook her around. Regardless, Miko’s cheerful albeit hyper disposition seemed to help bring some balance to the creepiness of the stories.
Mae was mostly pondering quietly, though still attentive to Kaya’s story. This was becoming fun, maybe, not at all what she had envisioned a freshman social to be like. Mae had pictured more of a meet and greet, preppy snobs prancing about like the ones she had met at her parents dinner parties. This was more like camp storytelling, minus the fire and swarms of mosquitoes.
Briefly lost in her own thoughts, she chuckled which seemed out of place given the mood of the tale, snapping back her attention to the present at the mention of a seal. “But I love seals….”, she muttered, a sour look rolling down her face. Did they have to tell stories about mutilated cute animals and critters? Images of bloody seals and slaughtered unicorns drained of blood were actually more upsetting than the eyeless girl.
Strange, despite the imagery of the tale, Mae found herself intrigued in such a way she hadn’t felt since her Aunt had passed. Sarah had told her similar tales, minus the bloody wildlife, and had even taken her many times for picnics out in an old forest. Reaching up, she traced the pendant beneath the fabric covering her chest as her memory of those days was refreshed.
“Do…do you think the story could be true?” She asked, looking to Kaya and seeming the calmest she had been since her arrival. Mae looked and felt almost hopeful, though she wasn’t sure why. She wasn’t looking for any sort of power, certainly nothing that came at such painful cost. Perhaps it was simply nostalgia, a desire to reclaim something she had lost.
"It's kind of interesting to think about," Kaya mused, "I mean... whether or not it's exactly true or not, I guess there's a lot of things in the story that could be true - or could be true but about something else. Allegories? Is that the word? So... whether or not things happened exactly like in the story, I guess it just tells us maybe we should think about the cost of things and whether or not it's something that we're willing to pay or that should be paid. I think... It's hard to explain, but I like it. I like the story, and I like the idea that magic can be something that you can... pay for, I guess. That if you're willing, you can have it. I like that a lot better than the idea that it's just random, that some people just have it and some people don't and there's nothing you can do about it. I feel like if it cost something that would be... more fair, maybe. In a way."
Of course, not everyone might feel that way or agree with her, but for Kaya... well, she'd always wanted to be magic, even if it hadn't worked out. The idea that there might still be away was tempting - and she thought that there might be a lot of things that she would be willing to pay, just for a chance at it.
But however that ended up, it seemed to have been the last real ghost story of the night, and talk drifted into other things - questions about the school, the teachers, the subjects, and all the usual things that everyone worried about. After a while of that, conversation drifted off a little further as people started getting tired. For most of them it had been a busy day of moving in and getting ready, after all.
Morning came all too soon, and everyone found their own routine of classes and studying and friendships, and maybe that first night of stories had been forgotten - if nothing else, it had been pushed aside by more pressing subjects like... math, history, language - the Jade Seal Academy was a school, after all, and its students were expected to learn things.
It wasn't until after the first round of exams that the subject came up again - however inadvertently. Ms. Meehan was passing back their tests on global current events, and the period was supposed to be devoted to going over the results and hopefully straightening out some misconceptions. One of the essay questions had focused on the Antarctic Issue - a weird phenomenon of strange creatures coming up north from Antarctica a few at a time and wreaking havoc. Magical girls had been turning the beasts back, but not without costs to cities and infrastructure, and the question was being raised about whether or not to send an expedition down to Antarctica and try to find the source and track it down.
Kaya hadn't really been paying attention for the first half of class - she'd done well enough on the exam, and her mind was wandering off to other places. Somehow, it made it's way back to that first night, that first sleepover, and when there was a lull in conversation, she tentatively raised her hand.
"Hey... Ms. Meehan? Do you think that those born with magic have... an obligation to use it to do things like an Antarctica expedition? Even if it puts their lives in danger?"
"Oh... now that's a difficult question, isn't it, Kaya? Let's talk about that one as a class - how do all of you feel about it? Would you want to go, or not? There are no wrong answers here, this is a subject that politicians have been debating for years. What do you all think? And... to start off, a quick show of hands, how many of you think you should go, even if it means you'll be in danger, probably hurt, possibly killed? How many of you are willing to risk it?"
Kaya probably should have thought about it for longer, but it was something she'd already considered. Her hand went up, unhesitating, but her eyes moved around the room to see what everyone else was doing.
There'd been plenty of time during the first part of the school year to search the grounds for any signs that the rumours were true, and in all that time, Riet had come up with nothing. She'd checked out old parts of the school, dug around in the library--even checked out a few broom closets, and she still had nothing to show for it. So it'd been back to the internet, to track down stories about former students, and to see if she could work out any patterns that way. That, and studying, had taken up almost all her spare time, took up almost all her energy. She'd taken to napping during lunch whenever she could, recently, and, honestly, could not recommend it enough.
---
Riet had been half-asleep through most of the post-exam lecture, resting her head on her arms, but Kaya's question snapped her eyes all the way open. When she'd started drifting off, they'd been going over the Antarctic Issue; seemed like they were on that subject? Only, not in a purely academic sense--Kaya was asking about the obligation of magical girls to defend people, proactively as well as reactively. Ms. Meehan turned the question back on the class, putting it to a show of hands.
Would she be willing to risk life and limb?
It wasn't exactly a new question for her. Defending others was part of what magic was for. She didn't necessarily want to be told where to go, or how to use her magic (not by politicians, at least), but it seemed self-evident to her that if you weren't using it to fix the world's problems, you weren't using it properly.
Her hand shot up only a moment after Kaya's.
“The only thing that ever stopped me being exactly who I wanted,” she said, “was the worry that I would soon be dead … and now I am dead, and I am sick of roses, and I am horny for revenge.” -Harrow the Ninth, by Tamsyn Muir
Akari lazed in the back corner of the room, arm resting on the windowsill, feet kicked up on the empty seat of the desk in front of her. She stifled a yawn with the back of her hand, glancing around the room. Riet was already asleep, it looked like. She couldn't help but grin. School was school, and school was boring. She didn't put it past the girl for wanting to catch a few Zs in the downtime between assignments.
Picking up her own test, she looked it over real quick, eyes eventually settling on the red C scribbled beside her name. The joys of mediocrity. It was enough to keep her on the team, so it was enough for her. Folding the paper over, she shifted back, letting her eyes drift shut while the shuffle of the remaining papers drifted around the room.
Hey... Ms. Meehan?
Akari's eyes shot open. Kaya had asked the question. Should magical girls risk their lives? Were they supposed to? It sounded a lot like that first talk they had, way back during the freshman mixer they'd met each other at. Shifting forward a bit, Akari listened to Ms. Meehan's response - then immediately put her hand up before she had a chance to see if anyone else was doing the same.
"Just cause we're willing to risk it though doesn't mean everyone with magic is, right? Like - your question doesn't track," she called out. "Whether or not we want to doesn't matter. Powers or not, it's not like anybody's obligated to help. It's just that there's enough people that both wanna and can that it all kinda works out."
School here was nice. It was different from how public school had been with just Akari, people were more patient here. They seemed to be anyway. The grounds were pleasant too, away from the lights which twitched in the edges of her eye or hallways that exhaled once her back was turned. Colors were just wrong sometimes outside, and that was fine. Sometimes a red flower wanted to be a little more pink then red and that was okay if that’s what it wanted to be. Pink flowers were pretty too.
Classes were nice, having her camera helped. Notes were easier to trust when it was in a picture, and sometimes a shimmer liked to sit in the chair Akari rested her feet on but she could never quite catch it. Getting to know more people was fun too.
Today, however, Kikyo fidgeted while she looked over her passed back exam. Her grade wasn’t bad, it was good even, but she had made some mistakes here and there. Her attention however was soon pulled away from the paper when the classroom discussion turned to one that sounded quite familiar. Go to help if she had magic? Kikyo’s hand creeped up into the air, her elbow bent and her fingers only half raised. Did ‘should’ mean that she would have to? Or that she felt that it would be the right thing to do?
“Just because someone might be good at running doesn’t mean they have to become a sprinter, it’s something they’re free to choose.” Kikyo added.
//... into the dark she stepped, but never did she feel free of the gaze...//
School is rapidly ascending the ranks of places Miko would rather be anywhere but. Sure, she’s made some friends in her classes, endearing herself to the nice girls, and the popular girls, and the not popular girls, and pretty much everyone else except her math teacher, who still gives her the stink eye when she even thinks about taking out her phone in class.
It was one time! And her ringtone isn’t even that bad, it was just bad luck that the volume was turned all the way up.
… Where was she? Oh, yeah, school. She would much rather memorize lyrics and dance steps than geometric proofs, and it shows in her less-than-stellar grades. When Ms. Meehan hands back the test, she accepts it as one might a glitter-covered birthday card - delicately, and with slight apprehension.
She turns it over to glance at the score written across the top, brightening immediately when a bold, red B- looks back at her. She’ll take it! Current events is one of the few things she actually likes paying attention to. Who wouldn’t? There are so many flashy battles to watch!
Speaking of flashy battles, Kaya brings up the question of whether or not magical girls should go fight things. Which, duh, of course they should. That’s what they’re around for, helping the world. If they aren’t helping, what’s the point? Miko looks around briefly and then raises her hand, because it seems like the right choice. Her kandi bracelets clack softly with the shift, but she stays quiet for now.
The thought that it might be more complicated than the highlight reels show doesn’t cross her mind. Death, injury, and danger are all distant things, better suited for someone else to think about. The voiced concerns flit through her mind and out again without settling.
A number of hands seemed to go up fairly quickly, Kaya noticed - but then some of them went down again, more carefully. Akari had brought up the question of who was willing to risk it, followed up by Kikyo's comment about being free to choose. Ms. Meehan was giving them both one of her little smiles, and a nod of something that might have been encouragement or discouragement. Both seemed to work equally well, here.
"That's what obligation is all about," she stated, drawing attention to the word by writing it on the white board. "It's easy to say that magical girls should help out if they want to, and I see that a lot of you feel like you would be willing to help out if you had that ability - or, at least, that's how you feel right now. But Kaya's question of obligation is a little different, isn't it? Obligation is about whether they should help out, regardless of how they feel about the matter. So, let's have another show of hands - how many of you think that magical girls should be obligated to help out? Kaya, your hand is still up, are you sure?"
Now wasn't the time to waver. Kaya made herself meet the teacher's eyes, scary as that was, and nodded. "I do, yes. They have this... thing, this ability. They didn't do anything for it. They just got it, and they should... give back, somehow. Because that makes it fair."
Kaya didn't have magical powers. She wasn't going to, because her family was tragically boring, and she would never wake up one day with magical powers, no matter how much she wanted to. The people who did, they were privileged, and that meant they had a responsibility to use that privilege for everyone else. Otherwise, the power was just wasted. It would all be so stupid and useless.
Just like everyone here, who would never be magic.
Riet's hand stayed up as well, but it took her a moment to dig something she thought was reasonable-sounding out of her brain. Kaya's answer gave her a good entry point; she latched onto it.
"Yeah--it's not that they should be obligated. They are."
She really, really, wanted to look over at Akari, to see how she'd reacted to that, but she kept her eyes trained on the front of the room.
"Nobody should force them," and now she wanted to check Miko's reaction, or Kikyo's, "but they'd still be shirking their obligations if they went off to grow mushrooms in a forest somewhere or--something." Her ears were turning red, but she kept going. "It's the same as someone with martial arts training standing by and watching while a stranger gets mugged; you can understand the hesitation, maybe, but if you don't try to stop it, to some extent you're part of it."
She wasn't sure if she fully believed what she was saying, but she wasn't going to start ranting about the economics of devil-bargains again in front of the teacher. She was only, you know, making a definitive statement in response to a hypothetical. That was probably fine. She sunk a little in her chair.
“The only thing that ever stopped me being exactly who I wanted,” she said, “was the worry that I would soon be dead … and now I am dead, and I am sick of roses, and I am horny for revenge.” -Harrow the Ninth, by Tamsyn Muir