Revelations

That's it.

I had enough of this.

The blame game stopped now. It was happening with her. It happened with Mettle, even if we settled our disagreements for the time being. It happened with Rat and Psi. And it happened with Lark.

I made mistakes, yes. I screwed up, yes. But I was human. And I tried to do the right thing and somehow the right thing kept getting thrown in my face. I was alone in this. All of this.

And I was sick of people pretending I should have known better. That I did know better. Like there was a rulebook.

There was a rulebook. It was called good old fashioned morals and trying to keep those closet to me safe. Did it mean I always made decisions that were perfect or that I had no doubts about? No. But it at least it let me sleep at night.

I apologized and I really tried. But the fact Kore was upset I tried to lie to her was understandable. But if she was going to play and pretend to be victim, that was on her. If she had no idea of why I did what I did, the number of other reasons

"Uh huh. I'm overreacting. Sure. It was an apology."

I looked at Kore. She could sigh and be disappointed all she liked. I had gone through enough in the past months, the past year, that I think I could finally draw a line.

And give a bit of perspective.

The NanoSym sensed my frustration, my own exhaustion, and the glove in Kore's hand would shift and change, leaving her and retracting back into my suit. Besides, it could not communicate with her if she kept her little forcefield shield up and covering her entire body. It hated having to speak through physical symbols or actions. It was not some sort of sideshow. It preferred regular real communication.

Meanwhile, back in this conversation, my voice kept level. If I was truly angry, this might have ended up in a Lark situation. That was never happening again. I was better. Better than that. Better than before.

Kore was not. For reasons I thought important.

"I will tell you when I feel like it. Right now, that's gone. Honestly, that whole thing was done to see if you would freak out at all."

That had been

And it will tell you when it felt like it either. It was hesitant still. It preferred only speaking to me, even after all these years. It trusted me. Other people? It could only give a few degrees of varying trust, depending on the closeness of what it considered to be allies. That closeness was, of course, in regards to how close a friend or someone was to me.

"I gave you a few of the reasons why I did what I did. You want more so you can stop pretending to be sad or whatever?"

I glared at her.

"Because if that's what ran through your head, if you think I thought such terrible things about you or that I'm the kind of person you think I was or am now, then you don't know me at all. Not even a little. And maybe you don't deserve to. So get over yourself and grow up."

I waved at her.

"No one forced you to spill your secret to the whole world or to your friends or anyone as far as I know. That was your decision. No one pressured you. It was all your choice. Just as I am choosing now to talk to you. Although, it isn't much a choice now, is it? Just a way to move forward at this point. You sort of took most of the decision-making process out of my hands, didn't you?"

I shook my head slightly.

"It was my secret. I choose who gets to know it and who doesn't. And it could be for any reason. I didn't ask for your help or olive branch. If you knew, keep it to yourself. I would have been better off ignorant of you knowing now that I really think about it. I didn't poke into your business unless you were comfortable. Same as I did not come down hard on you when I found out you kill people. And that's what I could have taken away from you, Kore. Not the good person who tries to help, not someone capable of making mistakes or was human as the rest of us."

I pointed at her.

"No, I could have taken something else away from who you are. You are a killer who surrounds themselves with killers and bullies. Some still around. Some not. Point still stands. Carmen. David. Septimus. Bran. Yeah, I pay attention to all your little stories. Perks of a good memory."

I began counting on my fingers.

"Crumplezone. Illegal event. Aurum was there. You did nothing until poor old Carmen was hurt. Meanwhile, she kept trying to beat on someone who was a good guy and was trying to avoid fighting her. Someone who was kidnapped and forced into that. A literal bloodsport. And you turned a blind eye."

That someone had been me. And I apologized to Carmen afterward for her being hurt. I asked for nothing in return. And I never would.

One. Now for two and three.

"Middlefield. You got into a fight with a kid with the kid dying in the end. And it got a hero killed. All because you could not sit down and talk and empathize for two seconds. Just took the easy way. Like all killers. And you did that with Sugar Skull too, who, for all you knew, might have been mentally ill or her powers were screwing with her head. Instead of help, you gave her a blade. Very nice."

Time for four

"Kid Kaiju. No one seemed to care he was being taken to a government site or anything. Not you. You know what happens to people taken away and never seen again? Oh, we were lucky this time. Seems he's still out and about having a blast. And I love to add the fact that you, the portal person, left everyone behind when you could have easily pulled everyone out. Nah. You like killing monsters too much to bother to look behind you and check if everyone was okay. Scramjet and I had to pick up the slack and make sure no one was fried crispy. And it was barely. Nice teamwork."

And for five.

"And then there's the fact you got Mettle running around and creating a criminal empire, and you sit in your office thinking you're doing all the good in the world. And I don't care if he's your ex or whoever he is to you now. I really don't. He's running everyone scared and willing to skewer anyone who gets in his way, and you, the person who knows him best, don't even bother so much as send a text saying that he should stop or reconsider. I would show you the scar he gave me when he tried making me a shish kebab, but I have a pretty thorough healing factor. I can thank that more than I can ever thank you right now."

I pointed to myself.

"That's just five instances, and I think I got at least a few more. And you're going to shut the door on me for lying to you or misdirecting you a few times? Get upset at me? Get on my case? The normal guy who tried to do good before you even figured out his secret as a superhero? That's very skewed, Kore. Try looking at yourself and the company you keep. So, you know what? This was a mistake. I'm sorry if I felt responsible enough for everyone else and you that I tried to try and keep everyone and you safe. So you wouldn't have to worry about me. For a dozen different reasons. To try to be your friend, instead of some random hero you know. Because I think you need that more than someone who turn metal or punch through nuclear bunkers or can do magic stuff. Someone to keep you in check. Because it seems no one else will. For you or anyone else."

I dragged a hand onto my face before turning around and sitting down in a chair across from her.

I wonder what wonderful excuses she had for me.

My brow furrowed. Fantastic. She really was going to hit me with the same talk Lark tried? When Lark let a potential killer get away?

"Fantastic comeback. Nice. Glad to know what you think of me. That holier than thou attitude I parade as Spider-Bite? That's an act, Kore. To keep other heroes away from me, to keep them safe. And I'm sorry for once I'm a bit frustrated with what's been happening lately. Sorry if I never bothered to speak up before until now. It's easier to be around people who are willing to throw away common sense and their lives or harden their heart to others. Not able to sit in the other person's shoes for a minute. Not give you a moment of pause."

Carmen and Mettle.

"I am pointing stuff out that no one has bothered to, Kore. If you can't come up with a reasonable defense for yourself, that's your issue. Not mine. I'll deal with it like I deal with everyone else that goes around thinking they are judge, jury, and executioner. Send them packing. And I won't be happy about it this time. You. Mettle. Legion. And the whole merry band here and New York."

I meant it.

"Because that's what you're going to end up as. Maybe what you fear you might end up but a bit different. With a different focus. Maybe like Legion. Because that guy had a few eerie similarities to you, Kore. I don't want that for you. You killing and disregarding anyone who disagrees as crying kids or naive individuals who don't get it. That we're just pizza men in masks. Yeah, I am. So what? Just because you got a fancy demon daddy, everyone else's ideas and opinions don't matter?"

Which it was fantastic to see again and again how much Kore saw me. And maybe a bit of it was my fault. Good old fashioned sarcasm. Two can play that game.

"You want to talk? Fine. But don't act like your hands are clean, Kore. They're not. I would love to have us see eye to eye. To figure something out. Because I had someone play the same old moral card you did now, tried having this exact same conversation with me, and they let a potential killer away. Not even potential. It will take an miracle if no one ends up dead because of this guy."

I motioned for her to speak.

"So come on. Talk. Belittle me for being a little old pizza man or say I'm arrogant or ignorant. I don't stay up and reconsider a dozen times what I do. What I've done. What I've been doing. I'm sitting by and letting illegal stuff go down because I don't know what to do with Mettle right now. Or you. Or even some of my friends, who I recently found out were not who I thought they were. And it was not for the better. I'm so, so sorry for being human and being angry at what's been happening, at the fact I could let my friend off the hook for so long. Sorry for giving so much as a singular damn right now and not sooner."

I brought a hand to my mouth and breathed.

"It seems you're the one who is ignorant. Or arrogant. This is me finally saying enough is enough, Kore. I won't watch my friend keeping tearing people apart when she's got several different abilities to end a fight without bloodshed. To help people without killing. I won't watch my friend sit on the sidelines, pretending to be a good guy. Maybe not a hero, but a good person, and yet sit by while people suffer. I won't turn a blind eye. I can't. I tried keeping it all in so long."

I breathed. Anger flowed through me. The NanoSym kept silent. It analyzed the conversation.

And it could do was keep me from leaving out that door again. Permanently. Kore would not have to kick me out. I would leave of my own violition. Of my own will. And stop them all if I could not have a talk with them.

I was angry with Lark and did something terrible.

And I was angry at Kore and everyone else. And I was not trying to do something terrible.

"And this is me saying I've had enough. Just enough. And something needs to be done. I want to talk. I really do. But I am struggling right now to look at everyone I've had to deal with and not just think it might be a lost cause. That all of it is a lost cause. I am trying so hard."

"Are we going to compare resumes now? Because that's a slippery slope, Kore."

And she was stonewalling me. Nothing. Perfect. Great. A few times? Ah, right. As if her whole hunter schtick was reserved for the monsters. As if the blood on her hands was an exaggeration.

"You might kill monsters, but you also kill people. You sat on the sidelines as people, one of them you knew or maybe still know, are carving up New York, forming militias and mafias. I fought your ex, the other tried to do kill me, and I'm currently planning how to deal with both. And you think it's hokey-dokey? Because you certainly haven't gotten up to do a thing from what I've seen. You did nothing as Crumplezone went down, and you sit here telling me you save lives. This prior behavior just gives me reason that it will continue. That you'll turn a blind eye when it is comfortable."

Both hands were open, palms facing outward as I tried to wrap my head around it all. And I couldn't. She could sit here and say these things. Yet what she was doing now and what she did before more than contradicted that.

It made her hypocritical.

"I got a better option. Tell me what I'm supposed to do with knowing all this. With my friend, one of the best, does these things. What am I supposed to do? Sit back and just be okay with it? Look at this and think you won't repeat these things? We talk and what options comes out of this that helps resolve this situation? Give me one option, Kore. Anything. Give me something. Because as far as you told, I don't have to convince you of anything. You don't need approval. And that can work two ways."

I gestured to the air.

"So, what am I supposed to do, Kore? You're the one who said I could talk to you. What am I supposed to do with you and the people like you? Daystar. Mettle. Hell, Legion. Am I supposed to be okay with it? Just walk out the door and pretend nothing happens?"

Kore finished speaking. All in all, it was a good excuse.

For doing absolutely nothing.

"Fancy speech. Question: is that your basic excuse from not getting out of that chair and doing something else besides paperwork? Wait, you got Chelsea. My bad. You got the UN paying your bills. Even covering your dad."

I shook my head, raising my eyebrows. Dismayed may be one word for how I was feeling.

"And you got too much on your plate? With what? With who? Your witch friend? Training at Hellcat? Your demon hunts or investigations? Yeah, real rough. Tell that to the guy who had juggle three jobs while doing this thing. With college on top. And don't even pull the 'your dad is coming sooner or later' card. You had two years to get something new to show for it. Something tells me you're might be slacking."

I rubbed my temples. Everything within me was screaming to shake Kore to get her to wake up.

"Black and white. Black and white. You know--and I hate this term--it's only anti-heroes that deal in absolutes, Kore. Not once, no matter what situation I was in--and I've been in some freak situations myself-- I always found another way. I never gave up. And I kept people safe while doing so. So what's the difference, huh? You and me? What's the difference?"

I quickly pointed a thumb out the window.

"I understand there is grey. But trying to bring that grey to the light, to bring the darkness to the light, is better than just shutting down that process forever. It isn't easy. But it sure is way more worthwhile and satisfying that driving a knife between the ribs."

I shrugged.

"Now, I don't know if it is because it's Mettle or you're scared of Legion like you were scared of this gang you mentioned. But these guys will be a problem for everyone. People will get hurt. People will be in the crossfire. It's a literal powderkeg, Kore. And all it needs is a spark. And you don't care because it's not your problem? Because it's too hard? Oh boo hoo you. Tell that to literally anyone else. Not to me. Never to me."

I pointed to her desk.

"Not a cop. Not a hero. Not anything but sitting behind this desk. How about you get the badge out, hm? Show me the badge and tell me why you got that if you don't have some sort of responsibility to help people. Something. Even a shred. Why go out and do this at all? Why not let your dear old dad take the Earth and chill for the rest of time while you're at it? Screw me. Screw this dilemma. You are really going to do that to the men, women, and children that are at risk because of what is happening? Just like the people who got extorted and drugged up by the gang that had you by the throat? You want a part two of that metahuman fun? Fan-freaking-tastic."

I pointed at her now.

"Fine. That's your choice. Here's another you can make. One warning I'm giving you. I catch you in New York, I catch you kill another person, and I don't care for the excuse at this point because that's what you seem to be made of right now, right this moment, because I will know. And I will shut you and this place down. Not the UN, not your magic friend, not a soul will be able to stop me."

The NanoSym agreed. Whatever the course, whatever the battle, it would find a way to succeed

Finally, I crossed my arms over each other, taking a small breath. I had one foot out the door, mentally. It might even become physically real soon, if not sooner.

"And there's option two, which is a whole lot nicer than option one. You want to hear it or should I go?"