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illirica
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Optional Attachment Nov 16, 2021 21:41:51 GMT Ghostly likes this

Post by illirica on Nov 16, 2021 21:41:51 GMT

"Going to kill me today, you bastard?"

Beth Pern reached her hand up to rest it against the cold hull of her mech, the other hand heavy on her cane, supporting the weight her burn-ravaged leg refused to. The mech declined to answer the question, just like it did every time she asked. One day, though... one day. She smirked, the unspoken agreement passing between them as it always did. A construct of metal and wiring, threatening to overheat and burn them both to death at any moment, and a twisted wreckage of a human, burning from the inside and courting the day when it would happen.

It was a better way to go out than any of her other options. She wouldn't last a day in the mines as a cripple, and getting herself shot by a firing squad for mouthing off wasn't likely to happen when they could send her out to die in the god-forsaken Zudah and hope she managed to take out some enemies with her. That, or 'accidentally' take out whatever sorry assholes they teamed up with her, ones just a little too important to send out in a death trap mech themselves. If Beth had ever had any illusions about any inherent goodness in society, they had vanished long before she'd ever become a pilot.

Yet, it suited her. She and her personal ticking time bomb, out there to win the war. They'd tried giving her the usual crap about how it was an honor to die for her people, but as far as Beth could tell, it was more about making the other guy die for his. She'd fight it out, as long as she could, and some day, she and her Zudah would go down in a blaze of something that someone else would call glory.

People like that had never seen what that fire was like, from the inside.

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Annasiel
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Optional Attachment Nov 17, 2021 0:59:15 GMT via mobile

Post by Annasiel on Nov 17, 2021 0:59:15 GMT

She supposed they could be called pre-flight jitters.

Andria Gardner walked aimlessly through the bowels of the ship she was in line to command, not really aware or caring of where her feet would take her. It didn't help all too much - in a way, it was just another reminder of how unprepared she was. Shouldn't she have had the hallways memorized by now, instead of each metal corridor looking the same? Shouldn't she have a name to every face she passed? Shouldn't she be doing something useful, even now, instead of wasting even more time on the act of wasting time itself?

No, she supposed, she wasn't fully responsible. She was training. There was someone above her who bore the brunt of it, and in a way, she had an excuse for feeling terribly unprepared. It helped a little, to consider that, but only a little. You could be unprepared to train to lead just as much as you could be unprepared to lead. Not studying for a test still led to failure.

She found herself crossing the threshold into a larger room - the hangar, suits primed and ready to travel forth into battle. One of them was hers. That thought didn't help at all. If anything, it scared her even more. As she navigated the room, she noticed, suddenly, that she wasn't alone, hearing the voice before she even noticed the woman.

Not the only one with pre-flight jitters, then.

"You know, they don't normally talk back," she said, moving up behind her. A face she recognized, albeit only from a dossier.

"PFC Pern."

Andria smiled.

Am I up to code? Are my feet spaced properly? Should I be less formal? More formal?

Too many idle worries, too many useless thoughts. They were both going to war, soon. That was all that mattered. That was the real anxiety at the root of it all, and from Pern's words, it was a feeling they both shared.

Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there!
He wasn't there again today,
Oh how I wish he'd go away!

illirica
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Posts: 1,388

Optional Attachment Nov 17, 2021 1:23:54 GMT

Post by illirica on Nov 17, 2021 1:23:54 GMT

"Lieutenant." Beth did not add junior grade, because some of the time she was not an asshole. Not all the time, of course, but some of the time. She also didn't add what the fuck do you want, but it was entirely possible that this addition was carried anyway in her tone. Beth leaned in against her mech, shifting her cane and her weight and turning awkwardly before leaning back against her death trap and facing the officer.

What was she here for, anyway? Didn't she have officer things to do? Talking to important people about acceptable losses and necessary sacrifices and all those fancy officer things, rather than being down here in the bowels of the ship talking to someone who was probably in the top ten on the "acceptable losses" list? Beth stared at her for a little while, as if daring her to mention it. There was no way they'd send their lieutenant out in a death trap, was there? No, her craft was undoubtedly fully up to code and possibly even repaired with parts that hadn't been scraped out of the craters left behind when other craft exploded.

A moment passed, uncomfortably. Good. Everyone deserved to suffer sometimes, and if the closest the higher-ups ever came to real suffering was awkward conversational lulls, then Beth was going to enjoy every weird moment of it with all the bitter pride she could muster - and Beth was pretty sure that if there was a bitter pride list, she was likely to be near the top of that, too.

"Did you need something?" That was the diplomatic and acceptable senior-officer-facing substitution for what the fuck do you want, wasn't it? Beth would have loved to be more direct, but she wasn't willing to risk getting pulled off the flight list. Her Zudah was undoubtedly going to kill her some day, but at least it had the grace to be honest about it.

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Annasiel
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Optional Attachment Dec 2, 2021 23:18:27 GMT

Post by Annasiel on Dec 2, 2021 23:18:27 GMT

Well, that went downhill rather quickly. Andria stood there in silence - a very uncomfortable silence - while trying to figure out what exactly to say. She'd intended to use this opportunity to build a bit of rapport - training had said that was important, after all. Get to know the people beneath you. Understand their personalities, their limitations, their flaws. She hadn't fully considered some people would be hostile to a spot of friendly conversation, and hadn't truly planned for how to react if it came up. Stupid of her, really. This was the military. This was real life. Some of these people might even blame her for the situation they were about to go into.

She didn't see the war as necessary, once. Maybe some here didn't either.

"I wanted to introduce myself before we all get bogged down in boring, formal meetings. Ceremony is fine for discipline's sake, but it really doesn't give you much chance to really connect with people, you know?"

Andria leaned against a nearby wall and smiled.

Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there!
He wasn't there again today,
Oh how I wish he'd go away!

illirica
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Posts: 1,388

Optional Attachment Dec 6, 2021 18:17:16 GMT

Post by illirica on Dec 6, 2021 18:17:16 GMT

Oh, that was how this was going to be, was it? The officer was actually smiling. Beth wondered if she practiced in front of a mirror in the mornings, or if she'd just had the perfect smile handed to her like everything else. Coupled with a line that sounded like it had been directly memorized from The Capable Commander's Guide To Interpersonal Relations or some other such dumpster-worthy archive of psychological bullshit, Beth found her eyes rolling before her brain caught up enough to remind her that she wasn't supposed to do that with a senior officer, either.

"Sure thing, Lieutenant. You're a peach." She probably should not have said that. "You can come to my funeral." That, either.

Not that Beth actually cared who was going to be at her funeral. She'd be dead. And she probably wouldn't even be there, anyway. Odds on there being a body to bury weren't looking good, given the whole situation. Beth leaned a little harder against her mech, the shell cold and heartless and comforting in its familiarity. At least she knew where she stood, with that. It was always like that - like getting slapped around wasn't too bad, for a kid. You knew how it was going to go, it would be rough for a bit and then it'd be over. It was the unknowns you had to watch out for. Things like I wanted to introduce myself. No one who had a person's best interests at heart started with a line like that.

Of course, no one who had a person's best interests at heart made it to lieutenant, either.

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