"I would love to teach you how to game things," Ms. Meehan said, very brightly. From her tone, she seemed almost as pleased by this idea as anything that had happened so far. "Hm, let's see. I suppose I can try to understand how you feel about it, the price is very concerning from your perspective, isn't it? I don't know if it makes it better or worse, girls, but I can't just give you magic. It has to be a bargain, a trade. You can't get something from nothing, after all. So I wouldn't say that I'm making you pay anything, so much as presenting the offer I have. It's up to you if you take it, isn't it?"
They weren't being forced into this, after all. If they weren't interested, they could go back to the school and choose another path, and that would be the end of that. Well, for everyone but Kaya, anyway - she had already made her decision, and it wasn't exactly the sort of thing that could be taken back.
"Very well, if you like, I shall be your... sort of agent. I'll give you some ideas for what you might be able to do, although of course you know no one has all the answers. But I shall certainly watch you until 'the day you die,' if we are determined to be so dramatic about it. Will that do?"
Miko feels like there’s an obvious choice to be made here, a clear ‘right way’ for this all to play out. She takes the offer, she gets magic, they do the hero thing, and everyone lives happily ever after. But Riet’s words make her hesitate, and she looks between her friend and her teacher as though scanning the page of a glossy new magazine. Like if she studies the two of them long enough she can read the answer written in between the lines. Or upside down at the bottom of the page.
Not even handstands can help her now. She’d get her hands all dirty if she tried.
Her attention snags on one word - agent. Her gaze snaps to Ms. Meehan, every fiber of her being hungry for the answer she wants to hear. A magical agent. A fairy god-mother. A kind old witch in the woods. Every good story has one. And she wants, more than anything, for hers to be a good story.
Even if she has to trade something away, she wants to hear her options. If it’s too much she can just… she can just say no, and she’s no worse off than she was before. Ms. Meehan will be the other girls’ agent, though, if she doesn’t. And that would sting.
“That’s good enough for me,” she decides, stepping forward. She walks up to their teacher with her shoulders set and her chin level. Walking the runway. Standing on the stage. Smiling for the photoshoot. This isn’t so different, right? “What’s your offer?”
Riet paused--one beat, then two. She had the feeling that she hadn't asked for enough. Mrs. Meehan hadn't even tried to haggle. But it was too late; the agent had agreed, and now Miko was stepping forward, too. She didn't have a lot of room to barter when both of her classmates were already on-board. It was easier to keep blaming the others for agreeing too easily than to admit she'd probably wasted her shot.
"Ready to hear mine as well," she said, standing up straighter and mustering what confidence she had left. Some stupid part of her couldn't help but compare this to the time she'd been pulled into a teacher's office to be assigned 'volunteer' work after an incident with the classroom's skeleton; that brought a little bit of her smile back.
“The only thing that ever stopped me being exactly who I wanted,” she said, “was the worry that I would soon be dead … and now I am dead, and I am sick of roses, and I am horny for revenge.” -Harrow the Ninth, by Tamsyn Muir
Good enough? Well, it would have to do, wouldn't it. Ms. Meehan might have hoped for a little more enthusiasm, but that was the way of young women these days. They'd been taught caution from an early age, and so there was less leaping into things with eyes closed and hearts open.
Ah, well. She motioned Miko to the side, watching her approach. The girl certainly did have a flair for the dramatic, didn't she? She could have been on a stage, rather than in the middle of the woods with only three other individuals around. Ms. Meehan considered quietly, looking... almost through Miko, rather than at her.
"Ah. Yes, I think that will do nicely, won't it?" Her voice was pitched low, for Miko alone. If she chose to share with the others what happened, that would be her decision. "Hmm. You shall be... an idol, I think. A beacon to all who look upon you, brightly shining. Just as you've always wanted, I believe?" But there was more to it than that, of course. It was not just the gift, but also the cost. "Now... as for a price... oh, we cannot take your future, that would be too cruel. Your past, then. It will have to be your past. Well, child?"
She would give Miko a moment to answer, and then a few moments more to process whatever effects came of her decision, turning away to the other girl remaining, Riet, delightful Riet, who saw this all as a great bargain. Ms. Meehan did have to admit a sudden fondness for the child over that alone. Again, her words were soft, for the girl before her alone. "You do so much to support the others, don't you? I think perhaps... we can enhance that somewhat. We can give you the power to... oh, to heal - but you will have to take the injuries into yourself, I suppose, in order to make it work. They'll fade, of course, but I think the pain will linger... but you're no stranger to pain, are you? Always and forever more. Ah, dear girl... I won't even take a price from you. The gift alone, then, my dear. Will you take it?"
Miko stands with her back straight and her thumbs tucked into her pockets, resisting the urge to shiver under Ms. Meehan’s consideration. Idols don’t shiver. Idols are shining stars, set apart from the common person but still looking to their fans with compassion.
This is her chance. She nods. This is what she’s always wanted. She wants to inspire others like she was inspired, back when she had convinced herself she was a nobody.
The cost doesn’t seem that bad. There’s plenty of embarrassing moments in her past that would probably be better off forgotten. “I accept.”
(She doesn’t think of all the important moments, the learning moments, the moments that shaped her. She doesn’t think of them at all, and then it is too late to take it back.)
Miko is standing in a forest. There’s a woman in front of her, and the woman seems familiar in a distant sort of way, like… Like nothing she can think of. Her head hurts, a little bit. She presses a hand to her temple with a frown, but the woman is already turning away.
There are two other girls standing in the clearing. They feel familiar too. Miko stares at the one closest to her, a little dazed, thoroughly confused, her thoughts slow to form. Does she know them?
Everything slots back into place again, and the headache fades. Of course she knows them! That’s Riet, her friend Riet. They met… somewhere. And they’re here for… um. Something. And the other girl is Kaya, and their teacher Ms. Meehan is here too. Miko smiles again, glad that she figured that out.
Riet had been straining to overhear what Meehan was promising to Miko--to no avail. She only heard Miko agree--and then a moment later the idol-in-training was looking around, her eyes a little cloudy, as if she didn't know where she was. There wasn't much time to dwell on that, though.
"You do so much to support the others, don't you? I think perhaps... we can enhance that somewhat. We can give you the power to... oh, to heal - but you will have to take the injuries into yourself, I suppose, in order to make it work. They'll fade, of course, but I think the pain will linger... but you're no stranger to pain, are you? Always and forever more. Ah, dear girl... I won't even take a price from you. The gift alone, then, my dear. Will you take it?"
The muscles in Riet's shoulders felt so tense she was sure that at any moment they'd snap. Magic wasn't just staring her in the face, now; it was breathing down her neck. No price? A memory from an old computer safety class of all things lodged itself in her brain; if they're not charging you anything, you're the product. 'Linger' didn't sound too terrible on its own, but it could mean anything--maybe the pain'd be worse for her than it was for the person she was healing! How many times could she fix a cut or a scrape before the pain became too much to bear? Never mind a cancer patient, or someone with tuberculosis, or...
No matter how hard she tried to focus on the pain, she couldn't stop thinking about the rest of it.
They'll fade, of course. Did that mean just the injuries she took from other people? Would it include her own injuries? If the only problem was pain, surely she could figure out a way to live with it; you're no stranger to pain, are you? There were drugs, and technologies, and other kinds of magic, and--and the other thing.
Always and forever more.
She stared at Meehan, thin-lipped, knowing there was only one thing she could say, but trying to hold it in for as long as she could. It had to be a trap; Meehan had spoken the words like a tragedy, but what was the point of a tragedy without a hubristic heroine making terrible mistakes in the pursuit of something seemingly impossible, anyway?
"I accept."
There was, for just a moment, a feeling like the end of her. It was like someone had taken a picture of her, and it was hanging up on a wall in some studio somewhere, or on a website, and then the real her had walked off, and left her behind, trapped in the image. But then it was gone again, just as quickly as it'd come, and she was left standing in the clearing with Mrs. Meehan, Miko, and Kaya.
"Um." Her mouth had gone dry; she swallowed, quickly, and tried again. "Cool. So. About this witch?"
“The only thing that ever stopped me being exactly who I wanted,” she said, “was the worry that I would soon be dead … and now I am dead, and I am sick of roses, and I am horny for revenge.” -Harrow the Ninth, by Tamsyn Muir
Miko seemed a bit uncertain, but that was to be expected, wasn't it? After all, her entire life had just passed before... well, before someone's eyes, anyway. Mrs. Meehan returned the girl's smile, with what she hoped was reassurance, and turned her attention to Riet for a moment. She, too, seemed to have a moment of weight as the repercussions of what she had done began to sink in, but it was, after all, too late to turn back.
Kaya, alone, watched dispassionately and said nothing. If anything that had happened to the other girls bothered her, she wasn't mentioning it. Perhaps she trusted in their strength, or perhaps she just didn't want to talk right now.
It did seem there was rather little more in the way of words to be offered, didn't it? Riet knew it as well, and turned her inquiry forward, to the aforementioned witch.
"Ah. Yes... her. The witch. She draws her power from an innocent girl, and names herself the school's Guardian. The last name I know she had was Elizabeth Amberly."