Post by Cassidy on Apr 30, 2022 21:23:51 GMT
My DNA is 100% human too now, apparently. No mutations. Nothing. It is like everything is just clicking into place as soon as I decided this was not the life for me. I got rid of the worst part of my life. Cut out the cancer. Even if it involved people and friends. I don't blame them. I blame myself not being good enough for them. And maybe that was the worst part of it all.
I just end up disappointing everyone. Especially myself. I should have done better. I should be better. And this is it. Away from it all and them. Also, Spider-Bite is a stupid fucking name. Can we all agree to that? And the red and blue? Really? As a costume choice? Black and white? Did I ever have a sense of style or color theory? Geez, I looked like a real clown. Fate got one thing right about how I looked.
So, now it is no more Mister Sad Guy but no more Mister Nice Guy either. If I want to help people, I'll do it like any normal or sane person. In a way that actually makes a difference other than sending people's teeth spilling onto a sidewalk. Besides, the statistics show that superheroes and supervillains are dying out. Even metahumans in general are thinning in numbers genetically. We all might go back to normal.
I have a lot more complaints. A lot more stuff in my life that I can't accurately write down or say in one writing session. My psychologist said getting a first page down--this thing right now--would be the best way to start. I can get more in depth into stuff and look at this summary for inspiration or something. Still, I have and will always have a number of things to be thankful for and happy about. I have my mom. My new job. Finishing up my degree.
Everything is okay. Everything is going to be okay. It might be a mantra but I can at least trick myself to be hopeful. And I hope it is working. I think it is. Not sure yet. But I really do hope it sticks.
Alright, time for my little big goal or mantra. Something to keep me on task. Not sure how much of this I'll show to the psychologist but this can be just for me.
I'm not Spider-Bite anymore. I am just Cassidy DeWitt. I just want my life back. And that's what's going to happen.
Simple, right? It'll take just a little time.
I just end up disappointing everyone. Especially myself. I should have done better. I should be better. And this is it. Away from it all and them. Also, Spider-Bite is a stupid fucking name. Can we all agree to that? And the red and blue? Really? As a costume choice? Black and white? Did I ever have a sense of style or color theory? Geez, I looked like a real clown. Fate got one thing right about how I looked.
So, now it is no more Mister Sad Guy but no more Mister Nice Guy either. If I want to help people, I'll do it like any normal or sane person. In a way that actually makes a difference other than sending people's teeth spilling onto a sidewalk. Besides, the statistics show that superheroes and supervillains are dying out. Even metahumans in general are thinning in numbers genetically. We all might go back to normal.
I have a lot more complaints. A lot more stuff in my life that I can't accurately write down or say in one writing session. My psychologist said getting a first page down--this thing right now--would be the best way to start. I can get more in depth into stuff and look at this summary for inspiration or something. Still, I have and will always have a number of things to be thankful for and happy about. I have my mom. My new job. Finishing up my degree.
Everything is okay. Everything is going to be okay. It might be a mantra but I can at least trick myself to be hopeful. And I hope it is working. I think it is. Not sure yet. But I really do hope it sticks.
Alright, time for my little big goal or mantra. Something to keep me on task. Not sure how much of this I'll show to the psychologist but this can be just for me.
I'm not Spider-Bite anymore. I am just Cassidy DeWitt. I just want my life back. And that's what's going to happen.
Simple, right? It'll take just a little time.